This Album Sucks

Finally, after a long time I have a dream that's worth putting down... I think.

So I had a dream I was listening to my iPod while lying in bed, and the current album I was listening to was some weird techno mumbo-jumbo. Autotuned voice an all that. The album art was strangely vivid as I was holding the CD case. On the front it was a sillouette of the artist in a desert, plus his name in a cactusy-like font on the front.

On the BACK, however, was not a description of his music and a list of the track titles. On the back was a physical description of the artist himself.

...why? I don't care what he looks like! I just want to know about his music!

I was then set and determined to be a better and more capable musician then he was to an extent where I learned how to actually autotune my voice by speaking. Autotuned.

I hate autotuning, personally- just talking into a machine and letting it do the music FOR you. But to actually speak autotuned- to make your voice sound like that just by talking- that's a real talent. And I did it. Hooray.

This Airport Invades My Personal Space

I had a kind of mini-dream before the airport one I am about to explain- it had to do with a forest fire at my grandma's house, and the forest and field I had grown up with was completely obliterated.

But the real reason why I'm writing this right now is below.

So I was at some kind of airport, and I was sitting around table with my brother, mom, and a few friends. We were playing some kind of really boring board game and I had to go to the bathroom.

"Better hurry, they're almost out of seats".

Say whaat?

I find the bathroom and find all the stalls but the handicap one in the back taken, and there is this MAN in there currently announcing to everyone on... HOW to USE the BATHROOM.

That didn't seem to stop all the women from going in there and sitting down and waiting for further instructions on how on earth to do this. Including me. Because our society is becoming so dependent on government-run agencies that they can't even figure out how to GO without instruction./rantrantrant/


At this point I was abruptly awoken. I'm glad.

...I hate bathroom dreams.

I Hate Being 1-Upped

I had a dream that I was on an art forum where I was posting some of my works for other non-artists to see and critique. I was the only artist, to my knowledge, posting there and I was like "yay look at my doodlez! :B"

And then some other guy on there is like, "HAY I'm an artist too!" and then he posts all of HIS art... which are these epically amazing pencil drawings of this epically awesome Death Knight from the Warcraft series. It is so epically awesomely shaded and it looks so awesome that everyone there on the artsite is like "WOW SO COOL" and I'm like... "Yeah... that's awesome. -curls in corner and fails-"

... Really, though, I don't mind when people have art that's better then mine in real life. I don't know why I did in my dream-world. O.o

Also, I should not write these posts when I just wake up. I used the words "epic" and "awesome" way too much.

Attack in the Conveinence Store

So last night I dreamed that some kid I used to know a long time ago went absolutely insane and started attacking me while I was shopping in a convenience store for the "Nerds" candy. I got my candy, but the kid went absolutely mad and started trying to beat me up with many different strange methods from insults to fistfights. Of course, the people around me came to my defense as well as myself, and I turned into quite a jerk in trying to defend myself in telling the kid off. O.o I'm not sure if I was justified or not... but...

I still ended up with the candy.

Trouble in the Medieval Castle while Mammoths Roam

I took on the role of my character Kaikuro in a medieval castle. Except the castle was more or less a combination of medieval and modern technology- as I roamed the hallways, I noticed a lot of modern technology... toilets, phones, ect.

And the King was talking on a phone while I just happened to be passing by, and he overheard the king talking about some kind of conspiracy plot to kill me. I heard some guards coming around a corner, so I quickly hopped into the nearest door I could find, which happened to be a college dorm where my apparent room-mate and my BROTHER happened to be.

I think at this point I was no longer Kaikuro, but myself. And the room was unbearably hot because there was a giant heater inside that was making the entire room toast like a sauna. I remember our little dorm room was unbearably shabby and everything was falling apart. I lay down on a bed nearby, confused as to our current situation and why my brother was in here. He didn't do anything, he just kinda sat there looking dumb.

I don't know why, but I suddenly decide to go to the park with my new room mate and brother. We leave the castle and start heading down a very long paved pathway, where I look at a field to my right and there is a person in the field tending to a flock of... mammoths.

That's right. Mammoths.

It was apparently birthing season too, because there was a whole lotta baby mammoths running all over the place, and they came up to me and had the behavior strangely of a dog. They were panting and rather enjoyed the attention of being petted.

And I do believe there was one or two roadkill mammoths as we were walking down this sidewalk.... I have no idea why...

And, at the end of our road, we come to a giant playground.

Yes, a playground.

I'm suddenly in elementary school again.

I find myself looking for a swingset and trying to avoid getting kicked in the face while kids are swinging. And all the things around this playground seem exceedingly violent and irresponsibly placed, because when I finally found a swing, every time I swung on it, it would come back and slam my back against a building that was poorly placed right behind the set. O.o

Everything beyond this point is a blur. I guess I can consider that a good thing. If this dream got any weirder, I'd probably be too disoriented to be writing this right now. :P

World's Worst Fast-Food Restaurant Tries Really Hard

So I went to this restaurant that was in a convenient store, and the lights were very dim, flickering and dark. It was very cramped inside with a few run-down booths. I could barely read the menu behind the counter where you order, because it was tilted at an extreme angle, but I do remember fretting about whether I wanted chicken salad or a burger. The chicken salad looked so great on the picture in the menu, but when I actually SAW the chicken salad, all the lettuce was brown and shriveled.

The saddest thing is, all the employees were trying so very hard to sell food. They were trying TOO hard. They were being ridiculously friendly, over-the-top, absolutely bent on good customer service to the point where it was a personal space invasion. But their food and supplies were simply bad. I remember being served water in a plastic zip-lock bag. And, the water was dipped out of a bubbling cauldron nearby, probably being used to sterilize the water... Well, I don't want to think about it that much.

I guess they get an A for Effort. But I hope my dream-self won't go out to eat there again. XD

Stars Turn Into Pufferfish.

Last night happened to be one of those unfortunate nights where I know I had a dream but just can't remember all of it no matter how hard I try. I do know that it had something to do with me trying to change the background image on my blog to a starry night, but everything I clicked ended up being a pufferfish, or some kind of other fish, and it was a very cartoony animated fish- and well, I didn't want a fish on my blog background. I wanted stars. But there were no stars, just fish.

Blob Desperately Wants to Be a Dragon

Last night's dream was a little too whimsical and abstract for me to be able to put into words, but let me try.

I used to play a video game called "Spore". My favorite thing about the game was the creature creator, which I used to help my creative process while I made monsters. In my dream, I was using Spore to try and create one of my characters, a dragon named Indara, but no matter how hard I tried, my dragon always turned out to be an indistinguishable blob.

Desperately I tried rotating the camera, tweaking body parts, building up the body region... but no matter how hard I tried, it always turned out to be a blob that looked suspiciously like a slug. I also remember that it had normal eyes on the front of his face, but for some reason I was really intent on putting very tall stalk-eyes on it's back as well. As if dragons have sluglike stalk-eyes on their backs.

After this I decided to put my wannabe dragon for a test drive. I think I was also riding on it's back too as I tried to control it and guide it in a distinguishable straight line, but it kept swerving off and never actually going where I wanted it to. At least it was a fast slug. I think I fell off once.

A lot of my dreams have to do with things like this- me trying as hard as I can to create something or do something in a certain way, but insurmountable obstacles always keep me from accomplishing my goal. It's frustrating. Sigh.

Platypus Dog is Tickled

Last night, I was a hybrid chimera platypus dog running from scientists and policemen.

I took cover in an abandoned house and ran all the way up to the top floor, where I was cornered and trapped underneath two very large windows. In my mind, I was fretting about how it would be so easy to find a large platypus dog, especially if you looked through the windows. Before I know it, two policemen are staring down at me through the windows, looking bent and determined to capture me.

My mind quickly looks for any logical reason as to how they could possibly overlook me, and quickly comes up with a solution. Immediately, the policemen are applied with an extremely debilitating case of crosseyes and cannot see me even if they tried.

However, this short respite of being captured does not last long. The scientists have discovered me and trapped me in a large black garbage bag and began assaulting me with incessant tickles to my belly.

Yes, tickles.

The kind of tickles that are so intense that you can't breathe and it's no longer funny but you can't stop laughing. But instead of laughing, I was screaming, "Bark! Bark! Quack! Quack!"


And not in a poor imitation of a dog's bark or duck's quack, but I was actually SAYING those words, "Bark" and "Quack".


And then, I quickly seeped out of my dream state and into being consciously awake, because I realized that I actually WAS being assaulted by something that felt akin to being tickled beyond the point where you can breathe.


My abdomen was spontaneously twitching in strange muscle spasms O.o It was 3:00. I remember waking up groggily, wondering what the heck was going on with my belly. I felt my muscles contorting and twitching involuntarily. The only thing that helped was grabbing a big roll of skin and pulling it up as high as I could without injuring myself.


When the twitching finally stopped, I fell back asleep, in a daze. Being a platypus dog at one moment and human the next is pretty disorienting. Nevermind the spasms. I'm still stuck on the fact that I was a platypus dog.


Illustration coming soon!